Let’s answer two questions today that come up pretty frequently regarding food. Photo: Martha Stewart Weddings {http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/}

1. “I’m having lots of children at the wedding and reception. Do I have to feed them the same food everyone else gets?” The answer to this one is a resounding “it depends.” If your menu is kid-friendly, then you certainly may choose to do just that. Many caterers will provide a special children’s menu for your event. A plus is that the food usually costs less than the meals they are providing for your other guests. A big downside to them (in my opinion) is that you are then paying $15.00 for mac and cheese. And, if you’re having a buffet, many parents will just feed their children from that because they can pick and choose for them. Ask your caterer if they will discount your regular food for the children. If you plan appropriately- a buffet is great for this- you should have something that they would like to eat (or at least eat if they’re hungry!).

2. “Do I need to feed my vendors?” My answer to this one is absolutely yes. Not only because I am a vendor, but because we (all wedding vendors) are there for several hours and need to eat at some point. This isn’t as big a question as it has been in the past, but with everyone so budget conscious, I want to make sure you don’t cut this as part of your belt tightening. You want to make sure that your vendors are fed, but you don’t have to provide them the same meal as your guests. While it is very nice and I have never been fed anything other than what the other guests have been served , you can choose to serve a lesser priced meal to them. One thing I feel very strongly about, though, is that a table be reserved for the vendors at your reception. Even if it is out of the way, we do need a place to eat!

As always, I’d love to hear what you think.

Catherine

So, for the first in our etiquette series, we’re going to tackle a question that has come up several times with our brides in the past couple of years. “Do I have to address my invitations by hand?”

Traditionally, all invitations were hand written and hand delivered by footmen to all invitees. The outer envelope could (and did) get dirty during this process, so there was an inner envelope that was also hand addressed. No abbreviations whatsoever were allowed. So, if your wedding has 200 guests, can you imagine hand writing every single invitation? I’m sure glad that has changed! Although, I wouldn’t mind having someone hand deliver all the invitations for me – that would be cool!

An inner envelope, if there is one, should still be hand addressed to your invitee. It is much more personal and is just nice to see when you open the outer envelope. If even this is too much for you, then consider one of the fantastic options without an inner envelope that is available.

Even today, outside envelopes inviting guests to a very formal celebration should still be hand written. Whether you do it or hire someone to do it, if you are having a white tie wedding, don’t use the computer for your invitations! If it isn’t so formal, you do have the option of having your invitation company address the envelopes for you in a matching color. This is very nice, but does add to your invitation cost.

If you consider yourself a “DIY bride” or if you are on a budget (and who isn’t?) then there are many other options available to you. You can choose to write the address yourself. Use the guide that comes with your envelopes and work on them in small batches. You’ll be surprised at how little time this takes. Just be sure to have a few extra envelopes on hand for mistakes – they will happen!

If you have a good printer and it feeds envelopes well, you can try to print the address on the envelope itself. There are some drawbacks for this – most stationery envelopes are heavyweight paper. Your printer may not feed them through easily, the ink color (if you choose to print in color) may not exactly match your invitations, and if your envelope is not in the white or ivory color family, you’ll have a hard time printing directly on it.

Another option is to print address labels. If you’re going to print yourself, I suggest this method. If you use a clear label, you may still run into a problem with darker paper, but you can try lots of different color combinations to see what works without breaking the bank. You won’t need many extra envelopes because you will catch your mistakes before you even get to the envelope. If you use a white label, you can create a design that is all your own to use on your envelopes.

Your return address should be printed or embossed on the back flap of the envelope. It should not be on the front. This is the same for any type/style/formality of an occasion.

Here are a few invitations and what I think would be an acceptable way to address them. All invitations are from Carlson Craft. {http://www.carlsoncraft.com/}

I consider the above invitations formal and they I would suggest handwriting addresses on the outer envelope.

I consider these invitations to be more contemporary or informal, so, in my opinion, a label or computer printing would be acceptable.

I also love handwriting fonts. You can even have a font made out of your own handwriting at a number of places. If you use these for addressing your envelopes, you can still convey a personalized feeling without worrying if your guest (or the post office) can read your handwriting. There are also many, many good calligraphy fonts available as well. Some of my favorites are below (with a nod to a certain 80′s sitcom!). All are free fonts available at Dafont. {http://www.dafont.com/}

So, if etiquette is “the rules governing social acceptable behavior” then I say if your wedding is not formal and you are comfortable with printing your envelopes, then go for it! Whatever you do, your invitation is usually the first item people receive that conveys the style, feel, and formality of your event. Be sure that whatever you choose to do with addressing your invitations says what you want it to say!

Catherine